- Posted by I'esha Hornes
- On July 2, 2012
We are coming upon the last days of this pregnancy. I must admit that I’m not at all excited about anything other than getting the baby out of my uterus. It’s been a long drawn out road of ups and downs, sickness and health, and most times, it seemed like death do us part. I never imagined being this sick, especially since my first pregnancy went by without a hitch, however this time around I was in for a fight. I had a fight internal as well as one with my own mind. I had to learn to fight the urge to want to please everyone around me, promising myself to make ME a priority over the success of anything else. I could have easily fell victim to overextending myself for false friends and networking colleagues, but the truth is my unborn child, my family, and my health came first. I couldn’t sacrifice my well-being for the sake of being liked, even if that meant redeveloping my brand after everything was said and done.
I especially think it was hard, because I never tried to operate my own business with the task of being pregnant. Therefore, with all the events and invitations I received, I never really had to discern which events were more appropriate for me to attend so thoroughly. In the past going to a party in some nightclub, affectionately themed after some grown and sexy cliché’, wouldn’t have sounded like a bad idea. However, after being pregnant I realized that some things are best left to the childless and unmarried crowd. I couldn’t imagine getting down at the “shortest shorts” event or hanging out at the “mid-week ménage” with no other purpose than to raise funds for some local charity. It’s just not about my image anymore, a fact pregnancy drilled into my mind quickly. I want to set an example and show people there is more to life than getting wasted and partying. I know some people mentioned “I’m foul” cause I don’t cover their events anymore or attend and “support” them. As ridiculous as that is, I initially thought they could possibly be right. After much prayer and deliberation, I had to accept that those who mattered didn’t mind, and you know the rest. I have to think about the people I’m trying to reach, my audience. My audience extends well-beyond the party “yolo” type, more into the ambitious family-oriented person looking to improve themselves and their environment.
Its crazy the type of things you think about when you’re forced to sit the game out, watching other people play non-stop. I must admit, I was scared for a while worried that an unexpected addition like our new baby may stop me from doing what I truly love all together. With some guidance and reassurance from those I love and respect, and of course some faith, I realized what’s for me is always going to be mine. I still had the passion, the drive, and the creativity to make my goals happen, so what was there to fear? Although a new baby meant some new challenges and more work, it doesn’t necessarily mean I couldn’t accomplish those same ambitions. I know plenty of women who have children (more than one) and can’t seem to cross over into legitimate entrepreneurship and success because of the challenges of motherhood. However, they do not define the role of Motherhood and Business Woman in my book, and I will do best to not look at them as examples of what to expect. I’m still scared, being that I never planned my sweet little bundle of joy and I have no idea how to incorporate him into the flow of things, but I pray and God got it for sure.
I don’t expect to be a perfect mother, I never even seen one of those. Nevertheless, I do want to be the best mom I can be. If that means that I have to put some selfish ambitions on the back burner (because I do love to have a good time and party all night), then it is no question… that’s what I’ll do. It should never be something of a sacrifice, when it comes to your babies. I want to set the greatest example for my sons, of what a REAL woman is capable of providing for her family, without neglecting their needs and image. It’s important to me that they know what kind of woman to eventually grow up and look for when they get older, despite what society and the corrupt media tries to portray.
I know now more now that some people read this website, not with the intention to be inspired or motivated, but to try to catch me slipping. They think they know me personally and they look to see what new things I’m into, what strides I’ve made if any, and what’s going on in my life. I assure you, it doesn’t bother me. I know that what I have is mine and mine alone and that no mere mortal can take that away. If watching me and quietly commenting amongst each other, is how they get through the day…. Continue to do so. It doesn’t do anything for me, if you didn’t know. I will say that I’m happy, whether I update this site every single day or once a month, I’m making moves. The satisfaction I get out of life is not measured by my peers, past or present. I’m in love, I’m healthy, and I’m blessed. My life is not measured by my status on Facebook or a tweet on Twitter, so stop checking my timeline for updates, because if you were worthyof some juicy gossip… you wouldn’t be twatching- you would know.
This baby is coming to a loving family, not too concerned with the world and its fickle ways. He is coming to two parents in love with each other and with life. That is all that matters to me. I’m planning to have a c-section, because I care about my vagina… just kidding (no not really). I plan to drop another video on Youtube soon, providing new updates and craziness with the Hubs, so be sure to check that out on my channel GaptoothDivaTV. So as I plan to have this c-section, whenever I go into labor (within the next 3 weeks), I know for sure I will really be out of it. Bear with me… I’m sure not giving up.
Check out more new photos of my family and me on Facebook, under my personal page www.facebook.com/GaptoothDiva
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- STFU Parents: The Dangerous Cocktail Of Discussing Alcohol And Pregnancy On Facebook (mommyish.com)
- The ‘milkmother’: an intriguing way of conceptualising motherhood (simplysociology.wordpress.com)
- [Mommyish] I Don’t Judge You For Disliking Motherhood, So Don’t Judge Me For Loving It (mommyish.com)
- Baby Advice for Snooki (bradsdeals.com)
- Motherhood Doesn’t Get Easier, You Just Grow Stronger (whattheflicka.com)
- Music, motherhood and the ticking time bomb (ellenmcsweeney.wordpress.com)
- Digital Motherhood: The Power and Pitfalls of Social Media (socialdialect.com)
- Bipolar Motherhood: What it Means to be “Mom Enough” (beepea.com)
- Three Myths about Pregnancy and Motherhood That You Might Still Believe (nolababybump.wordpress.com)
- Motherhood Musings (glitterandgritgirl.com)
- For Those Imperfect Seasons Of Motherhood (blogher.com)