- Posted by I'esha Hornes
- On January 28, 2017
If someone tells you that they balance their love life and mental illness perfectly, they are probably exaggerating a whole lot… or a liar. I’m serious. The idea of having the perfect relationship and battling mental health challenges at the same time is just crazy to me.
However, all hope is not lost. I discovered the best 3 ways to tell if your love is real despite mental health challenges coming between the two of you. It’s no one’s fault that relationships are hard, but adding on a mental illness in one (even both) parties is more difficult and delicate. Knowing if it’s all worth the fight will determine if you should stick it out or just be friends.
You, your partner, or both have a mental illness that you fight every day. Between therapy, exercise, work, school, and a social life, you are also in love. However dealing with life’s responsibilities and the added challenges of mental illness, how do you ensure that the love is real and worth fighting for?
I want to discuss the best 3 ways to tell if the love is real by providing you with three common mental health scenarios, which I experienced myself. In each scenario, you will understand your role in the relationship with or as someone with mental illness and how you can improve your love life without straying from your recovery journey.
Let’s also point out that many people believe that having a healthy and loving relationship is too difficult to maintain, so they often forgo trying to find love. Nevertheless, I’m adamant that my relationship was one of the most powerful things in my life that got me to hold on just one more day, every day, for almost a decade. It was that support and comfort that propelled my further in my journey, as that’s not something I had all my life.
Isolation and seclusion are go-to for those afraid of being in a close relationship due to their mental health challenges. I believe there is a way to overcome that behavior and more. Below is a list of ways to tell if your love is real, beyond just gifts and giggles.
The Best 3 Ways To Tell If Your Love Is Real
No Judge Zone
You can honestly and truly be yourself. There are no censors, grammar police, and no one waiting for their turn to talk. You are truly comfortable around this person and can open your heart and mind to the possibilities of love being real for you.
You are also free to listen and be there for them in return. You are not looking at their life and behavior through some rose colored glass, as you are realistic and logical about your decision to spend time with them. The love is real is you allow each other to be the best versions of yourselves regardless of the circumstances.
I always believed that if a person was going to have a relationship with you, romantic or otherwise, that their role in your life should improve you and your mental health. I’m not talking about superficial things, like, cars, clothes, and jewelry, but through support and encouragement. The love is real if you want to do better with your life and become a better person because of the impact of the relationship. That’s a real love for sure.
Battling a mental illness every day is not easy. If you are going to have someone in your corner, they will have to understand the fight. There are days when you feel like you can’t do it, that’s when the encouragement comes in. There are also days when you’re fighting a manic episode, you need that support system who is able to fight with you.
Real love is being with someone that can battle it out with whatever demons you’re struggling with, without running away. It sounds like a lot, and to most it probably is, but love overcomes all. A loving relationship requires someone who can fight through the challenges and be there for the person they love.
Overall, I may be romantic. I believe that everyone is entitled to love in their own way. I’ve been blessed to find someone willing to encourage me, support me, and fight with me in a non-judgmental way for the rest of my life.
I’m sure it’s not easy being in love with someone with mental health challenges, but despite the ups and downs, we discovered a great way to deal with life and my illness.
Knowing that you love is real, that it’s not going anywhere, frees your mind up to enjoy more of life and the love of your life at the same time.
Tell me more ways to tell if the love is real is your life. I would love to hear your comments and suggestions below.