The Truth about Support and Why You Can’t Get Any

The other day, I witnessed a very talented young woman go in (I mean H.A.M) online about why people don’t come out to support her, why people don’t pay to see her perform, and everyone is cheap and about themselves. This isn’t the first time; I’ve seen people rant about people not supporting them. Even as I write this, I know damn well, it won’t be the last. It really got me thinking about the truth. As someone who spent the better part of her career, getting exposure and supporting people with no return on investment, I think I understand more than the average person, why most of you… sometimes even myself, can’t get the support we need.

Gaptoothdiva discusses support and why most of us can't get it when pursuing our dreamsFirst, let me say, that this list isn’t intended for everyone. Only you can determine whether you fall victim to any of these behaviors or situations. If you are honest with yourself, you probably can tell if you have been a perpetrator as well. This isn’t to point the finger, because truthfully you know what your motives and purpose are. However, based on observation, I can certainly tell you that many of us have fallen into any one of these categories before.

  1. This is probably the one issue that you hate to admit… YOU LACK ADEQUATE TALENT! Everything isn’t for everyone. You may have been a great performer for family and friends, but in the public eye is it possible that you suck. I think I can sing my ass off in the shower, but I wouldn’t dare request studio time with my favorite soulful artist, just because my five year old gave me a round of applause. Pause for a second a let that marinate. Practice, crawl before you walk. Don’t expect to get paid for what you do, when you haven’t proven that you are worth the investment.
  1. YOU’RE TALENTED, BUT NOT DRIVEN. How many times have we seen talented people waste everything they have on partying, smoking their youth away, and living like there is no tomorrow. Driven and ambitious individuals, who really want people to support them, aren’t showing all of their time being wasted on not grinding. If you spend more time snapping half-naked pics, blunt and weed pics, and not showing how you’re making your dreams come true, I can promise you that you’re not getting my hard-earned money. Work hard, play later. It’s fun to share the fun and crazy moments, but people want to feel like they are investing into something meaningful, not a partygoer is going to crash and burn down the road.
  1. YOU CAN’T SELL YOU TO YOURSELF. I have been guilty of being a little too humble and naive. I wanted people to like me and not feel threatened or that I was stepping on their toes. That’s the truth. However, while those people that I was worried about were making money and eating, shopping, and doing their thing. I wasn’t. You have to sell yourself and know that you are worth it. You deserve just as much shine, if not more than anyone else does. Your grind and your work is just as important. Speak on it, discuss it, promote yourself or invest in someone who will do it for you. Don’t be shy and timid, because that cute little person that everyone loves so much doesn’t get to eat all the time. They are eaten!
  1. YOU ALREADY ACT LIKE YOU A CELEBRITY! First off, cut this mess out. Let’s be for real for a second. How many of you on the internet pretending that you already signed, you’re already making major moves, and that you’ve arrived, when in reality you’re broke? Raise your hand, I’ll wait…. I’m serious. I have been up on this from way back, when I was doing GaptoothDiva.com and folks were asking me, “Please don’t mention I have kids”“,Please don’t talk about my TANF/SNAP case that you processed”, or “Don’t tell anybody that I work at RadioShack, LOWES, Walmart, etc.” However, at every event, they walking around not speaking to certain people (their potential supporters) because they have allowed a few Twitter numbers that they paid for confuse them into believing they are celebrities. You are local at best! Stop pretending that the people there are your fans. You don’t have any damn fans yet! You have had supporters, until you ostracized yourself and put your prematurely inflated ego on a pedestal. Come back down for a second and think about this. People are more likely to continue to support you, when they believe that you are friends. Once you start acting as if you are above the individuals that would shell out a few bucks to come see you, then you have lost them for good. Chill out, there is plenty of time to act all high society, when you can afford not to care if people paid to come see you, because you got that money up front, ya dig!
  1. YOU HAVE BAD INTENTIONS. Lately, it has become apparent to me that some of you are just in it for popularity. You just want to be featured in your favorite magazine, on someone’s internet radio show, and on anybody’s blog. You have no purpose, you have no goal, and you just want someone else to talk about you besides… yourself. It’s pathetic to say the least. I keep hearing in sermons, reading in books, and watching on motivating videos that your “WHY” is the most important thing. If you’re why isn’t ambitious, purpose driven, and a service to those in your community, then you’re hustling backwards. You won’t be blessed to carry out B.S. Life just does not work like that. The music you make, the shows you do, the hair, beauty, jewelry, clothing, etc. it all has to have a purpose. This isn’t to say your purpose has to be a certain thing; it just has to be a selfless thing. If you aren’t making a difference or at least trying to create something positive with your so-called movement, then you failed to bring anything of value to the universe. Therefore, all the work you’re putting in to be rich, progress, and “get on” is for nothing. People can see that from a mile away. Be a blessing in everything you attempt in life.
  1. DO YOU SUPPORT OTHER PEOPLE? I can’t even tell you how many people ask to be on a show, a website, retweeted, or whatever and they don’t even know you. They saw those numbers and your work and they just thought they grab on. They’re sick! I started asking people, “Have you been on the website?” after I get messages asking for an interview or a feature. People would respond, “Naw”, “Not Yet.”, or “Not Recently”. Like for real? Why do you want me to feature you, when you don’t even know what I’m about or what I discuss? This is called bad business 101, if you ask me. You want people to support you, but you so self-absorbed that you don’t support other people. When is the last time you paid to see someone else perform? When is the last time, you mentioned or shared someone else’s grind. People are so selfish and then complain when everyone is. Crabs in a barrel, is what my girl Zenobia Bey would say. She understands first hand what I’m talking about. If you want love, you have to deliver it and not just to certain people that you think you can benefit from, but to everyone. The old wise saying, you wash my back, I’ll wash yours… it applies in this situation.
  1. MAYBE THE SUPPORT YOU’RE GETTING, YOU DON’T ACKNOWLEDGE IT.  I was guilty of this before, I won’t lie. Sometimes you have a goal or ambition and you are waiting for certain people and/or entities to recognize you. Maybe you wanted a certain promoter to reach out, maybe you wanted to be featured in a certain publication, or maybe you want to get on a certain show or showcase. I get it, we think certain things will make us feel like we have arrived or getting closer to it. However, what about that small station that was ready to book you, or that up and coming blog that did that feature. Did you promote them and Retweet them as much as you would have a mainstream version? Most of you don’t give love to the people who supported you in your humble beginnings, because you assume that they are up and coming as well, so who cares. However, like with anything these days, people see that. If HOT97 called you and gave you love, everyone within a thousand mile radius would hear you scream about that, but you show no love to XYZ internet radio out of small town USA, who gave you free marketing and promotion for over a month. Treat everything like it’s a big deal, show love to ALL your supporters, because people who rocked with you during the struggle, if given their respect, will continue to hold it down for you no matter what.
  1. Last but NOT least, DON’T WORK FOR SUPPORT, WORK BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT! My favorite artist, poets, and entrepreneurs do what they do because they are passionate about it. Even if no money ever came in, they would do it for nothing because it’s the love of their life. I love GaptoothDiva.com, in hindsight this is my wife. I think about her all the time and I can’t imagine what I would do if she ever left me. I did this for no pay for years, frustrated and overwhelmed I toiled over my blog. Nevertheless, like anything worth having, you have to work for it. I don’t care if people don’t love me, despite the fact that I get messages everyday about the inspiration that I provide. I do this because I feel like people need it. Therefore, if the world were silent about my name, I still would try to spit the most inspiring words that I wish I had when I first started out. That’s passion. I know talented artist that make music, because they are also passionate about their art. If they couldn’t pack a room full of people, they wouldn’t care. They perform just as hard for their loved ones and a handful of strangers for free as they would a stadium full of paying fans. When you can say that the support is irrelevant, then you are already rich. A person whose craft pays them in pleasure and gratification is wealthier than a fool who works for applause. Don’t allow the lack of support to mess up the gift GOD gave you. It wasn’t meant to be a gimmick, it was meant to be a blessing.

This pretty much sums it all up. When you see people complaining online or hear them ranting on in real life, ask them if they are guilty of any one of these violations. It’s easier to point the finger at everyone else and say people just hate, but because some of us live where very few famous people have started, we struggle to get somewhere and be a martyr, when we should just be satisfied with living with a purpose. I’m excited for you all and wish blessings on all your endeavors, just remember why you’re doing it and don’t worry about who loves you. The one that gave you the vision and the talent is the only approval you should seek.

With LOVE and Awesomeness,

I’esha GaptoothDiva Hornes

Follow me on Twitter @GaptoothDiva

I'esha Hornes

Author, Lifestyle Blogger, Model, & Vintage/Thrift Stylist. Motivating unique individuals to love their flaws and still rock an awesome life. Through Fashion, Culture, Entertainment, and Personal Experience, I love to inspire others & make people laugh. Mother of two awesome superheroes, wife to Mr. Incredible, & a mentor to those looking to learn to love themselves. I am the Baddest Creative Motivation!

4 Comments
  • David Griswold
    February 22, 2013

    What can I say GTDiva, I simply loved the raw honesty of how you see things and I agree with your post. The crabs in a barrel and other problems like black hat SEO are probably why we are seeing so many changes to try and get the message through that original, intelligent, honest and real content is the real reason the net is there.
    Having everyone expecting adoration and instant respect without real support of other people and their efforts makes them a type of online parasite that wants attention for no effort. Keep up the realism GTD!

  • March 17, 2013

    Not gonna lie, needed to see a few thing in there. Thanks for keeping it real.

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